Existentialist Ramblings
There isn’t any vindication or satisfaction tonight;
Only bruised kneecaps and a hungry stomach
and a bottle of vodka and putrefaction
and the yearning to be less evanescent,
more than someone you’ll never meet
less than an idol
and somewhat like someone you’d like.
If time were tangible I’d have grabbed it by the reins
by now and sent myself as far away
from the street signs as possible,
because dogwoods in the springtime are just as good.
But invincibility is the eighth color we’ve never discovered
and bones, memories, banana peels-
all biodegradable.
To hold one’s breath would be to drown
in order to avoid drowning.
Di(v)e
Swimming, push down and down,
the sunlight fractured like enticing slicing searchlights
flickering across our skin; it was like nothing else
when your hand grazed my shoulder,
and I knew it wasn’t a fish either.
Searching for solace between the reefs
and above our bodies, down and down,
passing bubbles sadly wave aquatic farewells, ascending
as we trade places; where we all belong.
The searchlights will have their answers soon before long
but for now, the brine around my makeshift gills
seeps through the teeth of my open grin,
and the flex of your back has never looked better.
To My (Future) Kids
Cats and dogs are not substitutes for napkins,
Chocolate milk does not come from brown cows,
Spaghetti sauce is not the same as water because a goldfish cannot survive without oxygen or in boiling liquids made out of tomatoes.
Pulling the emergency brake in the car while the vehicle is in motion is not ok,
the hole at the bottom of the toilet is not for exploring; your arm will become stuck if you explore too far.
The 911 operators never find your late night conversations as funny as you do.
If your teacher ever calls home and couples your name with the words explosion or fire hazard in the same sentence, I will always side with them.
Beer was made for drinking, not chugging, they give it a flavor for a reason.
Being a teenager does not give you a license for stupidity or the right to drive.
But you do have the right to sing out loud, singing is for the tin eared and the musically impaired;
the ones who think treble cleft is something fixed with plastic surgery;
When you open your mouth you are Sam Cooke in his prime, Marvin Gaye and Al Green with 10X the charm and don’t let anyone tell you differently, because songs may end past the lips but they start somewhere between the shoulders and hips: that’s where the soul resides and all souls are equal.
Dancing is not just for school functions and no, it’s not the motion people make in music videos where they’re trying to make their zippers kiss one another.
I give you permission to stake every walking surface as your own personal dance floor,
as if you are a footloose Christopher Columbus and the only way to claim the Americas was to do the electric slide.
You’re going to discover that
conversations are best at 4 am:
The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words,
Those are the talks you’ll remember.
It’s ok not to know the answer and silence is not awkward, it’s shared,
so share it more often than not.
Labels are for soup cans-
When you were created you weren’t mass produced
(just ask your mother if you don’t believe me).
Pornography is only two people getting paid,
Authentic romance doesn’t begin when the background music starts-
Son your sweetheart is not a princess, she’s a temple, and your body a burnt sacrifice.
Daughter your lover is not a knight, he is a compass and you a map,
So do not treat each other like glass, with delicate hands,
Because like dough we need to be punched and kneaded to know our weight and worth.
Remember that sincerity may not always gain you friends but it will keep heaviness from your heart.
Love the world or love God
For you cannot do both.
Just don’t grow up too fast,
Don’t be afraid to run so fast both feet leave the ground.
When you stop learning hopefully it’s the same time you stop breathing.
For every kid is born with color vision but adults have chosen to see the world in black and white
So when you’re offered a pair of 3D glasses grab them like your life depends on it,
because it does.
The adult world is full of numbers that will make your head spin and wallets and bank accounts that are filled with abstracts,
it will tell you that you are what you make, you are what you have, you are what people remember you to be.
But realize this if nothing else; that you have a God and Father that says, I always was, I always am, and your empty palms and open heart are enough for me.
Brick by Brick
You’re confusing wrecking balls for walls
let them fall, sugar lips;
nice and slow,
brick by brick.
You’re going to discover that
conversations are best at 4 am
The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words
Those are the talks you’ll remember
It’s ok not to know the answer and silence is not awkward
It’s shared,
so share it more often than not
I need you like the dragonfly’s wings need the wind, like the orphan needs a home once again, like Heaven needs more to come in- I need you here like you’ve always been.
Elbow Gingivitis
I can feel words building up in my joints
like plaque, elbow gingivitis,
to near paralysis from so much change
that I still have yet to decide if I was fully ready for.
The philosophy of corners
and boundaries and pasts and futures
to their core are fabrications
that rust our bones- rather, my bones-
and suddenly all I want is a mantle
on which to display the miracle of my insignificance
to the spinning of the world,
because through all my musing and droning
and planning and desiring and madness,
I still fail to find the words
to describe what this is,
and what I am.